


I'm Living A Charmed Life

by OohMurder



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: F/M, Fluff, I don't even know where this is going, M/M, On Hiatus, Post-Book: Carry On, but baz is still magic dw, i'm figuring it out as i go, it's just domesticity, it's just snowbaz living a Normal TM life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2018-12-30 20:32:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12116688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OohMurder/pseuds/OohMurder
Summary: Set post-canon, we follow Simon and Baz as they figure out how to live an ordinary life while dragging an exasperated (but secretly quite pleased) Penny along. Complete with adorable visits from Micah too, and a rare peak into sappy Penny. Go check out the 10th chapter for Penny x Micah during Valentines' Day!





	1. I - Simon

**Author's Note:**

> Rosanna is the advisor, I thought it felt a bit who-is-she-and-where-did-she-come-from when reading through it again but didn't know where to insert it so here we go, just for clarification.

**Chapter 1 - Simon**

“Penny?”

“Mmm?” Penelope hummed, her eyes focused on the notebook in front of her. I wrung my hands and then blew out a deep breath.

“I’m going to do chemistry,” I blurted out, watching her reaction carefully. She frowned at the sentence she had scribbled down, then turned to me, her glasses askew. I reached out to straighten them, even though she hated it. _You’re not my mother Simon._

“Okay. Makes sense,” she said neutrally, and went back to her work. I threw my hands up, exasperated.

“I’ve changed my major  _four_ times! Why aren’t you reacting? The school advisor is going to feed me to the mermaids!” I yelled, shaking her arm.

“Simon, she doesn’t know mermaids exist. And about chemistry, it seemed obvious to me since the beginning. I was just waiting for you to arrive to the conclusion yourself.” She was chewing thoughtfully on her pencil now.

“ _Waiting?_ Why didn’t you tell me?” My voice was insistent and slightly high pitched, and I was counting down the seconds before Penny fully turned to me. The sign of completely absorbing her attention. In short, a feat.

“I did. Multiple times. In fact, every time you said you didn’t like your major after all. But you’re more stubborn than your boyfriend is, and that’s saying something, so anyway, you got there on your own, congratulations, if you change it _another_ time, I’ll do everyone a favour and hand you over to the numpties myself.”

I sat glumly beside her, not bothering to answer. She sighed and dropped her pencil, swivelling around to me. I pumped a fist victoriously in my head.

“ _Simon_ ,” she said gently, grabbing my wrist. “You like chemistry, okay? You like the chemicals and understanding how they work, and considering how behind you were when your class started, and how you’re the best in the class now, you’re pretty good at it too.”

“I’ve failed two tests.”

“And I failed four. Quit worrying.” She peered through her glasses at me, toying with a strand of now-yellow hair. It wasn’t blonde. It was flat out canary-yellow. She made every single person on the streets look at her, or rather gape at her, all the while being completely oblivious to the attention. I planned to throw a potato sack over her head the next time I was out in public with her. Or at least make a brave attempt to.

Her last sentence floated into my head.

“ _Four?_ ” I asked, my eyes wide.

“Yes, we’re doing the most _boring_ thing right now and I’m only reading it to pass it. It’s horrific.”

“And you’re failing instead,” I said in disbelief. “Oh, hang on, do you mean your version of failing? Getting less than a ninety?” I wiggled my eyebrows at her, and she swatted at me with her hand.

“Funny, Simon. Forget chemistry and become a comedian. You’ll be famous all over London, maybe all of Britain,” she shot back drily. I sobered after remembering about chemistry and straightened up.

“Do you genuinely think chemistry is a good idea?” I asked.

“Yes. I told you. You haven’t babbled so excitedly to me about anything other than Baz before. That’s _huge_ \- “

“Oh, fuck off.”

She grinned and patted my arm.

“You’ll like it. And honestly, if you don’t, it’s fine. We’ll figure it out. At the worst, Rosanna is going to refuse, and then Baz will step in and give his Pitch Heir speech- “

“ _Penny._ ”

“You get my point. Don’t stress so much. Take a chill pill. Cool. Calm down, Simon and carry on with whatever you like. Don’t take it to your head. It’s just university. You’ll survive. It isn’t the end of- “

“Okay, okay, point taken. If Rosanna gets annoyed though, I’m throwing you under the bus. I’ll say you gave me the idea.”

She looked at me in mock horror.

“Rosanna _hates_ me. Maybe it has something to do with that biology lab thing, but she absolutely loathes me.”

Nah, she just thinks you’re trouble. Who can blame her?”

“Careful or I’ll spell you mute.”

“And I’ll tie you to the bed with my tail for the entire day.”

Penny opened her mouth to retort when Baz shouldered the door open.

“Baz!” I called, getting up. He turned to me, holding a drink. Probably his pumpkin mocha breve from Starbucks. It’s horrific.

“Chemistry then?” he asked, his eyebrow arched. I furrowed my eyebrows.

“ _How_ do you know?” I whirled around to Penny, who was stifling back laughter. I glared at her. “You two have been plotting behind my back!” I pointed an accusing finger at her, and she collapsed onto the arm of her chair, snorts of giggling echoing to me.

“Snow, you’ve been going on and on for absolutely _ages_ about chemistry while you dabbled with ecology and geography and Crowley knows what. You may be thick, but that doesn’t mean that two of us are. We knew since the second day of school, when you told us about the chemistry labs as though they were where all the sour cherry scones were being made.”

He had crossed the room and sat himself down on our creaky sofa, pulling out his laptop as he finished his monologue. I reached out to grab the device and stuff it back into his bag.

I plopped into his lap. Penny rolled her eyes and disappeared into her room, shutting the door with a decisive bang.

“What’s this, Snow?” His voice was a low whisper, almost a soft growl and I shivered.

“I’m still confused,” I said quietly, trying to focus on chemistry, and not his lips.

“Hmm.” I shifted to look at him and he had a thoughtful look on his face. I waited for him to go on.

“ _Do_ you like it?” he asked, his eyes trained on mine. I blinked and nodded.

“Yeah. It is fun, and all, but I don’t know. That’s how all of them seemed at first. And Rosanna seemed pretty exasperated last time. I don’t want to go tell her again, only to change _this_ after another week.”

“Then go ahead with it. You do know you’re her favourite student here, right?”

I scoffed at him.

“She adores you. Probably the curls, and blue eyes, very pretty doll-like, you know.”

“Uh huh.” I rolled my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder. His breath tickled my jaw, and I closed my eyes to the steady beat of his heart.


	2. II - Baz

**Baz**

“Simon?” came Bunce’s screaming voice from her room. Simon jerked up from my shoulder, rubbing his eyes. I didn’t know whether I wanted to kiss him or punch him for being so bloody cute. I settled for glaring with narrowed eyes as Bunce emerged, holding out her phone.

“It’s Mum. She says she wants to talk to you.” She shoved the phone into Simon’s hands, who stared down at it for a while, then looked back up at her in confusion.

“Me?” he mouthed.

She nodded vigorously – Bunce does everything with gusto. She’s always leaping into the air when she could just side-step instead – and gestured at the phone. _Talk!_

Simon put it to his ear, his eyebrows still wrinkled in question.

“Mrs Bunce?”

 He had his back turned to me and I watched the way his curls hugged his neck, tuning out the conversation he was having with Mrs Bunce. Though conversation wasn’t the right word. Rather, listening to her drone on while he bobbed his head up and down as though she could see him. The fabric of his shirt was worn soft, like much of his other clothes. He hated buying new ones, though he seemed completely fine with stealing mine. And not bothering to return them. I had taken to buying pairs of t-shirts and hiding one of them so that I still had some to wear.

I exhaled and leant back, watching him now shake his head vigorously. I began to listen closely, feeling slightly anxious as I noticed Simon’s tense shoulders.

“Can’t you tell me now?” His voice sounded strained, and I put a hand on his shoulder. Bunce stood watching, her eyebrows knit together as she tried to piece together what she had heard.

I could hear a garbled voice from the other side, and Simon sighed, shifting on my knees to collapse against me.

“Oof!” I exclaimed, the sound strangling out of my throat.

“I… all right. I’ll let you know,” he continued, vexation seeping from his tone. He was also a bundle of nerves, and just handed the phone mutely to Bunce, who regarded him worriedly before he waved her away, whispering that her mum was still on the line.

Bunce touched his wrist, then turned away to go back to her room. Simon swivelled to his side so that I could see half his face, and tucked his feet beneath himself.

“Simon?” I asked cautiously, my arm drifting around him.

He burrowed deeper down, nuzzling into my chest. I crossed both arms over him, feeling strangely protective.

“Mrs Bunce called me to Watford,” came his muffled voice from my sweater. I ran a hand over his shoulder blade, hoping it was comforting.

I knew how much he hated the idea of going to Watford. Well, hated would be the wrong word to use. He still had nightmares almost every other night, and I would wake up to him screaming Ebb’s name and clawing at empty air. I would scoop him into my arms and whisper soothing nothings into his ear, and the moment his shoulders relaxed and he drifted off, tears would prick my eyes. I couldn’t bear to see him like that. My Simon. He didn’t deserve all the anger and destruction the world threw at him.

I used to worry how he’d manage on the nights I spent away from him at my own flat, but that was until I saw Bunce slumped at the edge of his bed, her arm curved protectively over his head one morning. I’d shaken her awake, and she had just mumbled, “nightmares, screaming, couldn’t sleep, had to pat him and babble sweet things to my baby of a roommate to calm him down,” and half-sleepwalked out of the room, completely exhausted. I supposed I always had known Bunce loved Simon, but that had made me absolutely sure.

“She said something about… my family?” Simon’s next words shook me out of my reverie. I paused, staring down at his head full of curls.

“And?” I asked, treading carefully.

He lifted his head and looked me square in the face. His expression was exasperation, tinged with fear.

“She wouldn’t tell me. Sensitive information, cannot be transmitted over the phone, kindly take some time to go visit her at Watford, which is also coincidentally the place where Ebb was murdered.”

His eyes were fierce, the anxiousness suddenly non-existent. Then he leapt out of my lap, his shoulders slumping.

“I… I don’t know if I can do this,” he said in a quiet voice. I reached out to take his hand, and gently unfurled it from the fist he had made.

“You don’t have to.”

He shrugged, and laced his fingers with mine.

“Yeah, but this is the one chance I’m getting to find out who I am.”

“You’re Simon Snow, my terrible boyfriend. What more do you need?”

He smiled half-heartedly, and blew out a sigh.

“I don’t even know if that’s my name.”

I brought our intertwined hands closer to my mouth, and dropped a kiss on his knuckles. His eyelids fluttered.

“You think it was actually Slime? Maybe the people at the orphanage didn’t read it properly.” I tilted my head up to look at him. “Yeah, I like that. Slime Snow.”

Simon snatched his hand from me, and glared at me, though his eyes were playful.

“Shut up, Pitch,” he said, his voice full of mirth. I groaned, knowing what was coming next.

“Baz Pitch, hmmm?” he hummed, a grin lighting up his face. “More like bitch.”

I rubbed at my face, feigning annoyance. “You’ve made that joke about fifty times already.”

“Never gets old, though.”

I watched him, a smile spilling out of me as my eyes ran over his crinkled eyes and too-wide grin. His expression turned fond, his hand reaching for mine again.

“I think I’ll go,” he said, his eyes finishing the rest of the sentence. _If you’ll come with me._

“Of course.” And with that, I tugged at his arm, making him fall against me. He shoved his head up to look at me, and I grinned, plunging ahead to kiss him.

You’d think kissing him would feel normal after a while, but no. The idea that I might be hallucinating still popped up in my head at times. It was just too good to be true. Kissing Simon Snow? My sworn enemy was now my boyfriend? What a fantasy.

Simon stopped kissing me, and tweaked my nose. “You’re dreaming. I’m just kissing a mannequin that isn’t kissing me back.”

“Mannequins don’t kiss, Snow.”

“Well, this one had better, or I’m leaving you for the one at the store.”

I gasped in mock surprise. “Is that all I’m worth?”

He gave me a half-smile that made my stomach flip.

“Mm, maybe…”

I frowned and pulled my arm out from being wedged between the two of us, and put it on the small of his back.

Reaching down, further down until it pressed against the curve of his arse.

“Baz,” Simon almost whispered. I smirked at him.

“What about that mannequin now, Snow?” I asked in a low voice.

Bunce threw open the door, and then groaned at the sight of us. I almost yelped.

“If you have sex on the bloody _sofa_ , I’ll turn both of you into toads, - “

“I knew you’d always wanted to kiss me,” I interjected.

“And flush you down the toilet.” She gave me an exasperated glance, and dropped down into the seat beside us.

Simon leapt up and squeezed in between me and Bunce, giving her a cheeky grin.

“You have a bedroom for a reason. Anyway, Simon, what did Mum tell you? She just said she had to talk to you about your family.”

“She didn’t really elaborate. She told me to come over to Watford, said she had some information about my parents.”

I frowned. “It’s been almost two decades. Why is this coming up now?”

Simon shrugged, while Bunce tilted her head to the side thoughtfully.

“Maybe…” she glanced at Simon hesitantly. “Maybe the mage had some records that they’ve uncovered?”

Simon went silent.

I nodded in agreement. The mage had done a lot of shit in his life, and Simon’s story had always irked me. If the mage had wanted to find out who Simon’s parents were, he would have. While I wasn’t particularly fond of the man, there was no denying his power, or what it had been, both political and magickal.

“Well, I guess I’ll go find out then.” Simon shrugged, this time forcefully. I placed a hand on his knee.

“All right. Do you want me to come along?” Bunce didn’t seem like she wanted to though.

Simon noticed, and frowned at her. “Don’t you want to see your mum?”

She made a face. “I visit every once in a while,” she said. I knew for a fact that she didn’t.

“Sure?” Simon was now peering closely at her, his protective best friend side snapping up. She attempted at a smile, and nodded. Clearly, something was going on that she didn’t want either of us knowing. Simon looked unconvinced, but let go.

“Well, it’s just the two of us then.” He turned to me.

I smiled. “How romantic.”

I was smiling more often now, a fact that Bunce had made me begrudgingly agree to. I supposed it was a side-effect of being around Simon so much. He was like sunshine; you could hardly be damp next to him.

Simon laced his hand with mine, and even Bunce smiled.

“To think you two got here, after all that bullshit at Watford.” She sighed.

“And I don’t even mean all that shit with the Humdrum. The bane of my existence was Baz gazing adoringly at you one second, and hexing you the next.”

I gawked at her. “You knew?”

She laughed. “Not… exactly. I mean, I’ve definitely seen the way you looked at him,” I felt suddenly grateful I hadn’t fed last night. I knew for a fact that I would have been completely red. “But all the teasing, and the goading on, it was the complete opposite.”

“And what about Simon?” I asked, half desperate to turn the conversation away from me.

“Ugh, you do not want to know,” she groaned playfully. “He would never stop talking about you! Mind you, it was always about plotting, but the day the shade of your eyes got in, I gave up and forbade him from breathing a word of you.”

I nudged Simon’s shoulder with my own, grinning at the colour in his cheeks.

“Oh shut up,” he said, his ears slowly turning just as red. I leant in and pecked him on the cheek. I felt bad for him and changed the topic.

“Come on then, let’s go rent a car. We could leave early in the morning, and be back before it’s too dark.” I stood up, stretching my arms.

“All right.” Simon smiled at me, and turned away to the kitchen, probably to pack an entire bag full of cherry scones.

Bunce touched my wrist.

“You’re good for him, you know?”

I shook my head. “Quite the opposite, actually. He’s good for me.”

“You didn’t know him when he was dating Agatha. He never felt like he was enough, you know? It wasn’t for the lack for trying, but he could just never feel right with her. But now… you complement one another.”

I paused, watching a strand of her absurd hair float above her hear, and reached out to push it behind her ear. “Thank you, Bunce.”

She smiled. “Penelope’s a nice name too.”

I grinned, shoving my hands in my pocket. “Now that’s going too far.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case anyone didn't get the toad and kiss joke, the spell for reversing the spell of turning someone into a toad is kissing them, like the fairytale.


	3. III - Simon

**Simon**

I woke up bleary-eyed to Baz’s wand beeping as our alarm clock. Baz’s arm shot out to grab it, pushing himself up with the other elbow. I blinked at him sleepily, a pit of dread opening in my stomach.

I couldn’t exactly put my finger on why I was so terrified, but the prospect of going to back to Watford scared me shitless. Ebb’s dead body, blood trickling out of it, floated into my head, and I mentally winced.

Baz watched me out the corner of his eye. I could swear he could read my face like a book. I made myself smile at him; he grimaced.

“Want to take a shower together?” I waggled my eyebrows at him, and he rolled his eyes, his cheeks turning slightly pink.

“Let’s not have sex for the first time in the shower, Snow.” He stood up abruptly, yawning and stretching his arms above his head. I watched his shirt ride up, revealing a strip of pale skin. I ran my hand along it, and he jumped, whipping around to look at me.

“I’m feeling a slight bit jumpy today. If you could kindly keep your hands to yourself, that would be delightful. Also, I wouldn’t die of a heart attack.”

Baz was back to his snippy self.

I supposed it would have bothered me, but it was almost normal today. Though he was admitting he felt nervous, I guess that meant something. I threw back the fluffy blanket, and got up as well, bopping shoulders with him. His expression turned soft, and he turned to me, looking apologetic.

“I’d kiss you but you haven’t brushed yet.” I grinned at him, making him smile back. That smile always turned me into mush. It was just so _unusual._

“As you wish, master,” he shot back, giving me a mock bow and stepping towards the door. I watched him leave, and slumped back onto the bed.

Right. Watford. I could do this. I had Baz with me.

I’d already showered last night – old habits die hard – and I quickly changed clothes and headed to the kitchen, hoping that I hadn’t finished all the cherry scones Baz had bought on the way here.

There was a plastic bag sitting on the counter, with a note stuck to it. I crinkled my eyebrows as I walked towards it.

_“You did finish off the scones – really Simon, you just cannot walk away from them – so I went out and bought some stuff from the bakery. Honestly, you should know that nothing’s open so early in the morning. You’re welcome. - P”_

I grinned, opening the bag and scanning the food inside it. I spotted something that looked suspiciously like sausage rolls, and grabbed a doughnut. Oh, they were jam-filled. My stomach rumbled happily.

“You got breakfast?” came a quizzical voice at my ear. I turned to Baz, holding out a second doughnut with a wide smile.

“Penny did. Last evening. Here,” I said, shoving it at him. He smiled at me, and took the doughnut.

“I don’t know how you’d survive without her, Snow.” He looked down at his hand, and frowned.

“Anything that isn’t filled to the brim with sugar?” he asked.

I nodded, and pulled out the paper bag that had the sausage rolls. Baz reached for it hungrily. I finished off my doughnut and shouldered my backpack, earning me an eyeroll from Baz. I glared at him.

“It doesn’t have a _single_ sour cherry scone. We’re all out of them.”

“Your fault, Snow.”

I shrugged. “I put some crisps in. Do you need blood?”

He shook his head. “Had some last night. I’ll last today.”

I nodded and walked past him. He pulled my arm back.

“Simon,” he said. I peered at him. That tone… wasn’t normal. The snappy, sarcastic normal.

A smile tugged at his lips. I leant it and kissed the small quirk. “What?” I asked warily.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. Mine, actually. He was just there so often I’d begun calling it ours.

“Wear that blue shirt.” His eyes were glinting.

“Which shirt- oh that one.” I frowned. “It’s too tight.”

Baz smirked. “Precisely.”

I rolled my eyes at him, and motioned at him to move away from my closet.

I pulled the shirt out from beneath a pile of trousers, half shielding it with my body to hide it from Baz. He went mental when he saw messy closets. I was dating a mad vampire.

Pulling my shirt over my head, I ran a hand through my hair, feeling unruly curls beneath my palm. I opened my mouth to complain, when I saw Baz standing in front of me with his lips parted, a soft pink swelling in his cheeks and ears. Staring at my topless torso. It was my turn to smirk, and I stepped closer to him.

“Like what you see?” I said in a low voice. He rolled his eyes, and trailed a finger down the smatter of moles along my collarbone. My eyelids fluttered shut. Baz’s breath was a warm puff of air on my neck.

“Maybe you should put that shirt on, Simon. Or we won’t make it. Which ah, would be very awkward to explain to the headmistress.”

I opened my eyes and leant towards him.

“I don’t think she’d mind.”

“Oh, she would- “

I closed the distance between our mouths and sealed his lips shut. I smiled against him, cupping my palm around his neck. He sighed into my mouth.

Baz’s hands wound around me, hugging me to him. I nipped at his bottom lip playfully, and he tutted.

“Careful now, I _am_ a vampire,” he breathed. I responded by running my tongue along his thankfully human teeth.

A loud knock thudded at the door. We jerked apart, Baz’s entire face flushed red. If it was going to be that easy to make him blush, I was going to make sure I stuffed him with as much blood as possible.

“Morning sex is not a good idea today!” yelled Penny from behind the door.

“Shut the fuck up!” I shouted back, shoving my shirt onto my head. Baz straightened out the wrinkles on his shirt, looked me up and down to make sure I looked presentable – ever the motherly hen though he’d rather be staked than admit it – and opened the door.

“You’re already an hour late.” Her hair was a rat’s nest painted canary yellow as she stood there with her hands on her hips.

“We had breakfast already. We were just leaving,” I said. She raised an eyebrow at me, but didn’t say anything.

I grinned at her and hooked my arm through the loop beneath her elbow.

“You’re sure you don’t want to come?” I asked softly. She really hadn’t seemed all right yesterday.

“Merlin, yes. You’ll survive a day without me, Simon.”

Okay, she didn’t want to talk about it. I looked at her, and she shrugged.

“Your wings,” she said. I looked over my shoulder, and true enough, a peak of red winked back at me. Penny and Baz has sat together over a weekend, and with their combined maniac genius, they’d found a spell that made my wings disappear for a week.

Penny pressed her palm to the tip of the wing. “ ** _Adios amigos!_** ”

Really, it was a ridiculous spell, but it worked somehow. The red faded away and I bopped her nose, making her turn her head away in annoyance.

“We’ll be back soon.” I smiled.

“Stay away as long as you like,” she replied. Baz smirked and pulled at my arm.

“Now we’re really going to be late,” he said, frowning.

“Bye Penny!” I clasped my hand in Baz’s and we walked through the door, the crisp packets tumbling around in my bag.

Penny waved and shut the door.

“Well, handsome. Ready?” asked Baz, his eyes twinkling. He had been so happy recently. He scooted closer to peck a kiss onto my lips. I grinned and dragged him along to the car. We were going on a drive. To Watford. I sneaked a glance at him, only to find him studying me.

“It’ll be okay, mm?” he said softly. I nodded.

He squeezed my hand, and I squeezed back. It was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh this took a while and it doesn't really have anything substantial - school is not kind to me :( - but hopefully the next one will be up faster!


	4. IV - Baz

**Baz**

I let both of us into Watford, Simon gripping my hand so hard I was fairly certain it had gone blue. I made no move to show my discomfort, however, and strolled in, taking in the giant building before us.

Simon shivered next to me, and I turned to him, noticing the thin cardigan.

“Thicker sweater would’ve been a better idea,” I murmured. He shrugged, and cocked his head.

“I don’t think it’s because of the cold,” he said quietly. I hesitated, then draped an arm around his shoulders anyway, letting go of his hand. 

“Whatever happens, you’ll still be in charge. You know that, right?” I asked him, my arm tightening across him. He sighed.

“I’m serious, Simon. It doesn’t matter who your parents are. We find out, and we go back home. You don’t have to do anything about it.” I scanned his face, doubt still lingering in the set of his eyebrows. “We don’t even have to go in. If you want, we can turn right back.”

Simon stood silently, leaning slightly against me. He suddenly shook his head decisively, and took a step forward.

“No, let’s go find out who they are.” I gripped his shoulder, then let go of him. He turned his head to me, smiling softly at me. I kissed the curve of his mouth.

***

“Hello, Simon. And good morning to you too, Basilton. Lovely to see you both.”

I inclined my head, and gave her a polite smile.

“Hello Mrs Bunce.” Simon gave her one of his radiant smiles, even through all those nerves that were definitely knotting his stomach.

She regarded him over her glasses, her expression unreadable. I found myself looking at her with narrowed eyes before I rearranged my face into careful blankness.

“Simon.” Her eyes flicked to me, her voice catching. I raised an eyebrow at her as Simon turned his head to look at me as well.

He cleared his throat. Both of us turned to him.

“Um, whatever you have to say… you can say to him as well. Baz, that is.”

She stared at us for a long moment, and then nodded. I stepped closer to Simon, our shoulders touching.

Mrs Bunce opened her mouth, as if to say something, then paused, reconsidering it. Simon looked at her questioningly as she frowned.

“I suppose Penelope didn’t come?”

My heart sank a little bit as Simon shook his head.

“She said she didn’t- “

I cut in quickly. “Couldn’t because she had some classwork to do. You know Penelope, Mrs Bunce. She can’t step away from any work.” I gave her a hopefully convincing smile, and she attempted to smile back, though it looked more like a grimace.

Something was definitely wrong with Bunce and her mother. I certainly didn’t want to prod, but the headmistress looked like she was feeling awful. While Bunce and I had our differences, there was no denying I cared about her. Horrifyingly, I was growing fond of her day by day.

Simon was studying the headmistress with wide eyes. I nudged him as subtly as I could.

“Is everything okay, Mrs Bunce?” he blurted out.

I just stopped myself from flinching. Trust Simon to go straight for it.

“Yes, Simon. Just… I guess being the headmistress is taking a toll on me.” She smiled and gestured for us to sit down.

“I don’t want to beat around the bush. And as you said, Simon, you trust Basilton to hear this, so I’ll dive in. Just a fair warning though, this will probably come as an extreme shock.”

Simon stiffened in his seat, and I reached out to take his hand beneath the enormous desk we sat at. He gripped me hard, then let go, letting loose a deep breath.

“So, I invited you here because I had some information on your parent. Well, I know who your father is, and I can make an educated guess at your mother.”

For someone who had just said she would dive right in, she was taking an awful lot of time. Or perhaps it was just me. I held my breath, watching the blood slowly drain out of Simon’s face.

“Your father… David Owen. Or as you knew him, the Mage.”

Blood was thundering in my ears, as I sat transfixed, staring at her, terrified to look in the general vicinity of Simon.

_Simon._

_The Mage’s son._

Simon let out a choked sound, and my head whipped towards him. His eyes were glassy, his hands curled into fists that were ruthlessly clutching my fingers, though I could feel nothing through the shock.

_Aleister fucking Crowley._

“Simon,” I said, my voice a low croak. He shook his head viciously, and with one grating movement, he was on his feet. I clambered up as well, my legs clumsy as my hands grabbed at the chair for support.

“Don’t come after me.” His words were barely distinguishable, as a sob tore out of his mouth. And ripped into my heart.

I reached for him, hesitating. He shrank away, his face twisting as he turned away and half sprinted out of the room.

“ _Fuck_ this,” I growled, shoving the heavy wooden seat out of the way.

“Give him some time,” came a voice at my ear.

I whipped around, worry and fear and anger, fucking _livid_ anger tore through me. I stared flatly at Mrs Bunce, rage lighting up my eyes.

“Did you not think of the effect that would have on Simon?”

She regarded me coolly before speaking.

“He spent several months at my house after the initial incident. I know Simon, and believe me, Basilton, if there had been another way, I wouldn’t have done it.”

I ripped a hand through my hair.

“What do you _mean_? You could have told me! Crowley, your bloody daughter is his best friend! Penelope and I would have figured out a way!” I was almost screaming, but I couldn’t be bothered to give a fuck.

“What way?” A calm demand, forcing me to think through it logically. I didn’t care.

“I don’t know, _you_ tell me! Do you mean to say blurting it out to Simon was the only choice you had? You’re talking about the Mage here! The man Simon blames himself for killing!” Tears welled in my eyes.

“Sit down.” She gestured at the chair, as though I’d popped in for a cup of tea.

“How about a fucking _no_?”

“Very well, then. I’m sure you’re going to run after your friend- “

“Boyfriend,” I corrected her.

“Boyfriend. Before that, I’d like to let you know that this is vital information that Simon needs to know. I know he’s been going through an awful amount in his life, something no one should ever have to endure. I _am_ aware of the fact that he’s blaming himself for not only David’s death, but also that of Ebb the goatherd. But the Mage was his father, Basilton. Do you not remember the positions he held when he was alive? There are pressing legal matters to be dealt with. If he doesn’t do anything about them, several mages will come knocking to his door. Now tell me, what else can I have done?”

I shrugged. “You say you know Simon. So, I do think you’re well aware of the fact that this was poor judgement on your part. I don’t fucking care about the legal issues, he is a human being who has emotions. Being the headmistress of a school of children, I’d expect you to understand that.”

I rose up, making my way to the door. I turned around on a whim.

“Mrs Bunce, you may mean well. Or at least I think you did. You just need to realise not everyone thinks the way you do. Cold, hard logic may work in your head, but clearly not in others. And while you may be inclined to think your daughter is much the same, she isn’t. Brilliant? Yes. An unflinching robot? No.”

There was a cold calm that steered me out of the room, but as soon as I shut the door, it disappeared, like a popped balloon.

I staggered against the wall, scanning the corridor. Nowhere. Even though I couldn’t see him, I knew Simon wasn’t in the building.

 

***

I breathed hard, determined to not lose my shit in the middle of the students milling around me, watching me strangely and giving me a wide berth.

_He wasn’t anywhere. Not even in the dorm room we’d shared._

Panic was coursing through me like a drug, tears and screams threatening to spill out of me.

An idea struck me, and I stumbled elegantly down the staircase to hide under the cover of some trees to dig out my phone.

“Penny?” My voice was a pitiful gasp.

“Baz? What’s wrong?” She sounded sharp, but instead of it grating on my ears, it cleared the fog in my head.

“Simon. He’s really upset, and ran off. Can’t find him. Looked everywhere. Any idea?” Gone was the eloquent, cultured Pitch tone of speaking. I blurted out broken fragments of my mind.

To her credit, she didn’t ask me anything about why Simon was upset, or what the fuck was going on. She paused for a second and then said very quickly, “Ebb’s grave.” Her voice trembled before she continued. “He wanted to go see her… one last time.”

“Where?”

“Mum said it was where Ebb used to live. Right behind her hut, possibly beyond the pumpkin patches.”

“Thanks.” I dropped the phone into my pocket, and tore into a flat out run. The slightly chilly air cut at my cheeks and made me eyes water.

Ebb the goatherd’s hut was in a pitiful state. No one had bothered to clean it up, and without its living occupant, it barely supported itself, leaning over as though with just one blow, it would all tumble down.

I trudged along the now almost hidden path, spotting decayed pumpkins along the way. The leaves crunched beneath my feet as I called out for Simon.

There. Right in front of some trees, Simon sat on his knees, his head hanging forward. The curve of his back radiated agony. I didn’t know when I’d begun to read his emotions so well.

I inched closer to him, my eyes fixed on his mop of curly hair. I could see a mole on his neck now, and made sure to step on some leaves to let him know I was there. I didn’t want to make him jump.

His shoulders heaved with a sob. My heart lurched.

“Simon?” I whispered, standing beside him.

He didn’t make a sound. I watched him breath for a moment, then reached out gingerly to touch his arm. He took a shaky breath.

Just when I thought he wasn’t going to move, he lifted his hand and grasped mine. Tight.

“Come here.” His voice was raw, as though he’d been screaming. I dropped down, turning my head to look at him. Tears clung to his eyelashes and his jaw, their tracts leaving lines on his cheeks. I leant closer and brushed them away with my thumb.

He pulled his arm around my shoulders, and buried his head into the crook of my neck. I hugged him to me fiercely.

“We’re okay, Simon. We’re fine. It’s going to be all right, love. I love you.” I was half babbling in the hopes of comforting him, while his body convulsed with sobs as he cried into my shoulder.

After a while, I grew silent. I held him without a word, my eyes shut close. I let him take what he needed from me, and if that was a shoulder to cry on and arms to hold him, I’d do it for eternity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay a tiny bit quicker than last time! I think this one's longer than usual as well :D Let me know what you think!


	5. V - Simon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you write a sad, sad beginning to a chapter? You don’t write for days and live as the procrastination queen until fear that you’ve disappointed the maybe two people who read your fic sets in after which you write like a madman.

**Simon**

I’d come here to see Ebb, to see what had become of her because of me. I didn’t care what anyone told me; if I’d been there in time, I could have done something. Gone off at the Mage. _Anything._

And yet I’d let her bleed out before my eyes.

My legs had carried me to her grave, as though they knew where she’d be, and I’d taken one look at the uneven headstone, and stumbled past it to stand facing the forest. I hadn’t even completely understood what I’d been told, the identity it had given me, when I started screaming.

The trees had thrummed in tune to my cries, the leaves fluttering to the beginnings of a sharp wind. My arms had clutched at my stomach, as I shouted and shrieked, wanting to cry, wanting to claw at the misery that drenched me like I was a wet cloth and it a ravenous dye.

But the tears hadn’t come. When breathing scraped against my throat painfully, and I’d felt hollow, I trudged back to Ebb’s grave, dropping onto my knees without quite knowing it.

I didn’t know how long I’d stayed there, my head drooping low, my lips forming, ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again long before my voice came back.

I’d felt Baz standing beside me. The rush of blood in my ears was far too loud to hear anything else, but I’d known the exact moment Baz was next to me, and there was no one else I wanted.

So I’d pulled him down, and sobbed into his shirt, ruining it with my tears, as the tightness of his arms around me soothed me like a balm to a wound.

 

***

“I love you.”

A hesitant glance. “Simon?”

“I love you, Baz. _I love you_.”

“I… I love you too. More than I’ll ever be able to let you know.”

A grip of hands, a promise and a pledge.

 

***

 

The drive back home was in mutual silence. Baz mulled over his thoughts, his hands firm on the steering wheel as he gazed at the dark sky. I wasn’t thinking at all. I just watched his face move in the shadows, his lips parted and his eyes twinkling bright as stars.

We hadn’t gone back to Mrs Bunce’s room. Baz had made me sit in the car, and wandered off to a nearby tree to call her and say we were going back. His back had been ramrod straight, and I could read the tilt of his head, the hostility it radiated. The thought of him being so protective left behind a warm feeling, albeit however quickly it had vanished.

I couldn’t feel anything at all.

We reached home in what seemed like no time at all, but also an infinity, and Baz had his arm curled along my shoulders as we trudged up the stairs. Penny seemed to have been waiting for us. The door was shoved open, and she reached out to take my arm.

“Simon.” Her eyes were so sad. Did she know? Or maybe I just looked that bad.

Baz touched my arm, and I turned to him.

“Should I stay?” His brow was raised in a question, and his face was so soft. So worried, and so upset. I touched his cheek.

“I’ll be okay. I’m knackered anyway, I just need sleep.” Horribly grating voice. My ears bled at the sound of myself.

What I’d said was a stupid lie. I always want Baz with me, and even if I didn’t, this was one night I would have given anything to be curled up beside him in bed. But I didn’t say that. I knew he wouldn’t get a wink of sleep sitting up beside me in my room, and it had been a long day.

“I…” he hesitated, his eyes skimming my face.

“It’s fine, Baz. I’ll be here,” said Penny. I leant in and kissed his cheek when the concern didn’t budge from his expression.

“You need rest,” I said in his ear. He laced his fingers with mine.

“Yes, but I think you need a bit more attention after what happened.” He frowned at the memory.

“Well, I have Penny to babysit me. Go home, Baz.”

He looked at me then, his grey eyes searching mine. “You’re home.”

My heart executed the perfect backflip.

I saw Penny rolling her eyes out of the corner of my vision, though her mouth was curved into a slight smile, as she squeezed my arm and walked back into the flat.

Baz shifted so that he was facing me, and cautiously reached out for my other hand. I looked at him, trying to smile.

“Hey.” His voice was low, as soft as he could make it.

“Hey,” I said back, cringing at the scraping sound I made.

“Are you sure you don’t want me here?”

I tipped my head up so that my nose brushed his.

“I always want you here. With me. All the time.” I swallowed as his eyelashes brushed against my temple.

“But we can’t always have what we want.” Baz opened his mouth in protest, and I let go of his hand to lay a finger on his lips. “Shh,” I hushed him. “Right now? I know you won’t let yourself shut your eyes to make sure _I_ get a good night’s sleep, even though you’re the one who drove all the way there and back.”

He was watching me with a strange expression, and I shrugged.

“Yeah, the stuff that happened did fuck me up pretty bad, but it’s fine. I’ll be fine.”

Baz raised an eyebrow at me. I put my hand on his shoulder.

“Kiss me?” I whispered.

Baz dropped my hand and pulled me into himself, making me crash against his chest. I arched my head up at him and his lips found mine. I closed my eyes with a sigh. His tongue glided along my teeth, before sweeping into my mouth. I was leaning backwards, his arms wound around my lower back, and I could think of nothing but his mouth.

I arched back against my will, and my eyes shot open. As though it was a slow-motion movie, I felt myself stumble and lurch towards the floor, Baz’s arms straining around me. I squealed and threw my elbow out, hoping to break my fall. Baz’s eyes were wide and frantic. My other hand reached for him and snagged on his sweater. We fell to the floor with a resounding crash.

“Simon!” Penny shouted, her door flying open. Her expression changed from concern to mirth as she bent over, clutching at her stomach as she howled with laughter.

“Oh, I have to take a picture!” She pulled her phone out, making Baz and I try to scramble up at the same time and getting even more tangled up. I heard a faint click from Penny’s phone as she giggled to herself. Baz groaned and pulled his arm from beneath me.

“Simon, lift your fucking butt off my foot.” Despite myself, I laughed a little as he extracted his leg and shoved himself onto his feet.

“Here,” he said, extending a hand to me. I grabbed it and he pulled me up, squeezing my palm before letting go. I smiled at him.

“Penelope Bunce.” He turned to her, and she watched him with a grin I didn’t see often. Mischief. That was a leprechaun grin.

“Yeah, Mr. Pitch?”

“Delete that bloody picture.” Baz was just short of putting his hands on his hips and towering over her like he was a parent chastising his child.

“Or?” There was a glint in Penny’s eyes. Oh, she was enjoying this.

Baz rolled his eyes. “Or I’ll talk about sex and only sex with Simon when you’re around.”

Penny gasped in mock horror. I burst out laughing, and reached out to sling an arm around her.

“Stop it, both of you.” I opened the front door, gesturing at it to Baz.

“Go to your flat now. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Baz grinned at me, and leant in for a goodbye kiss. Penny wriggled under my arm.

“I don’t need a close up of that, thanks.”

I smiled around Baz’s lips and let go, holding his eyes with mine.

“’Night,” I said as he turned around to leave. He twisted around, waved at me, and sent a flying kiss in Penny’s way, making her grimace at him before he walked out, shutting the door behind him.

I smiled after him, staring at the oak door but seeing the set of his shoulders in my mind. Penny wrapped her arms around me.

“Do you want to talk, Simon?” she asked in a low voice. I was about to decline, say I did actually want to go straight to bed, but it felt like there was a boulder on my chest. And whenever that happened before, I blurted everything out to Penny. So I nodded, resting my chin on the top of her head.

“Yeah.”

Talking to Penny felt like she was working away on the block of stone, chipping away at it, piece by piece, with her scarily intense concentration and brilliance. I followed her now into the kitchen for a cup of tea, watching wisps of yellow hair peep out of her low bun.

What would I do without Penny?

 

 

 

 

 


	6. VI - Penelope

**Penelope**

I cradled the cup in my hands, watching Simon perched on the kitchen table. He was currently heaping sugar into his tea, so much that it would taste more like liquid sugar than anything else.

I leant back against the chair, the cool metal pressed against my back. I wanted to know what had happened, why Basil had called me in that frantic voice – he’d called me _Penny,_ that wasn’t good -, what my mother had told them, and most importantly, _who were his parents?_

Simon lifted his cup to his lips, cautiously taking a sip before grimacing and pulling away.

“That almost burnt my tongue!” he said.

I looked at him stare intently at his tea.

“Simon…” I trailed.

“Okay, okay, I’m stalling.” He looked up at the ceiling and groaned.

I waited as he blinked up, and after a minute had passed by, opened my mouth to prompt him again.

He beat me to it.

“It’s the Mage.” Fast and flurried, his words strung together like a bloody kebab.

“ _What?_ ”

My hearing was better than decent, but there was no fucking way I’d heard that right.

“You heard that right,” said Simon.

“Are you telling me the Mage? Your father? What the _fuck_?” My words were going straight from my brain to my mouth. I’d read about how when your body had an automatic response, it never went up to your brain. That’s why you close your eyes when you sneeze. Your brain doesn’t have the choice to go ‘hey, thanks mate, but I’d rather retain my sense of vision.’

“Penny?” Simon’s tentative voice reeled me back into reality, and I stared at him, stunned.

“Oh my goodness, Simon,” I whispered. My mind was in a repeated circle of ‘fuck, fuck, fuck’.

“I… yeah.” He set his tea down a bit too hard, the china glass clanking painfully against the wood of the table.

“I don’t know what to do.” His voice was hushed, and his hands had started trembling.

I quickly put my cup down as well to reach out for his hands. They were so cold. Warm, soft Simon’s hands were now cold. I didn’t know why that made my heart sink but I fervently rubbed his hands between mine, my glasses still half-misted from the steam of the tea.

“Penny, say something. Tell me what to do like you always did. Don’t sit here and rub my hands.”

“You’re so cold.”

What was I thinking?

I looked up from his hands, saw his face crumpled in such terrible sadness, and my heart shot straight down to my feet. My smiling, ridiculously happy Simon. How could anyone have the heart to make him so upset?

I stood up, the chair screeching behind me.

“Simon,” I said, as I leant in and hugged him close to me.

He pressed against me, his arms wrapped around my waist.

“I didn’t just kill the Mage, Penny,” he whispered into my sweater. I heard him take a shuddering breath.

“I killed my father.” His words were cracking, like he didn’t want to say them but he forced them out anyway.

I shook my head fiercely, even though I knew he couldn’t see me.

“No, Simon.” I let go of him and dropped back into my chair.

“You didn’t kill him,” I said insistently. “And he certainly was not your father.”

“Penny.”

“A father isn’t just the man who passed his genes onto you, okay? A father doesn’t leave his kid at an orphanage, no matter what his reasons were. A father doesn’t go get his son when it’s convenient for him, and then still refuses to let him know who he really is. The Mage knew you hated the orphanages. And he never did anything about it.”

After the initial shock wore off, there was pure rage waiting beneath it. Simon shook his head to disagree.

“No, Simon, I really don’t care why he did it. He had his duties to you as your dad, and he failed them. Don’t hold what you did against yourself. You never meant to kill him. It was an accident, and if you’re going to genuinely blame yourself, then I have all the more reason to hold myself accountable for it.”

“What? Why?” His face was the picture of confusion.

“I’m the one who cast the spell. If I hadn’t, he wouldn’t have died. Though in introspect, I would have killed him with my bare hands if I’d known this when he was still alive.”

Lethal fury. I was almost burning up in anger. How had Basil managed to not set Watford on fire?

I noticed a bit too late that Simon had flinched at my words, and I scrambled for something to say.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you!” I peered up at his face, trying to catch his expression. He smiled at me with sad eyes.

“It’s okay. I just need some time to think about it.” His smile grew more genuine before he continued. “And thanks for your furious reasoning. I needed something to tell me I wasn’t completely at fault.”

“You weren’t at fault _at all_ , but like you said, if you need time to catch up with that, take as much as you need. And feel free to come to me anytime you need an angry rant, I’ll be happy to provide.”

I gave him an awkward bow while sitting on the chair, and he laughed. The sight of his crinkled eyes made me almost dizzy with relief. He was going to be fine.

“Now it’s your turn to spill, Penny.” He looked at me with raised eyebrows. I broke eye contact for a second as my heart lurched before looking back up at him again.

“What?” Fuck, my voice was absurdly high-pitched.

“Don’t pretend there isn’t something going on with your mum.” His expression softened. “If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine, but you know our rule. Talking helps, and we already think the worst of each other, so there isn’t anything to judge.”

A laugh escaped out of me, but I sobered up at the prospect of telling him.

“I… I trust you with everything, well, except cherry scones,” He gave me a mock frown and I grinned at him before continuing. “But I just, ugh, I don’t know, I guess I don’t want you to think I’m utter shit?”

He shrugged at me.

“We’re all utter shit at times, Pen. It all depends on who you’re going to let know just how much. And I’ll say this: you could do anything in the world, and yeah, I might think you’re completely out of your mind, but I won’t run away from you. I’ll be your reluctant but gorgeous sidekick.”

I stuck my tongue out at him, laughing for the second time. He smiled back, and looked at me expectantly.

“Okay. Mum… she wants me to do something better at uni, you  know, not just biology because that isn’t worth anything and I won’t get anywhere with it, and she told me I had the brains to do smarter things, I could have gotten into medicine and become a doctor in a couple of years…” I rolled my eyes at the memory, and continued. “I don’t want to be a bloody doctor! I find it boring and I do _not_ want to spend every day trying to prescribe shit to sick people and healing them, I mean, really? Can you imagine, Simon? Me?”

I was rambling now, and if it had been anyone else, I would have stopped abruptly, and changed the subject as fast as I could. But it was Simon, and he was looking at me with concerned eyes, even though his lips were curved into a soft smile – Simon’s always smiling -, and I was suddenly struck with the realisation that he was here, we were both here, and safe, and happy, and not burnt to crisp from a bit too intense session of Simon losing control of his magic, and I just burst into tears.

“Penny!”

Simon looked startled, and jumped off the table to kneel down in front of me. I frantically rubbed at my eyes and cheeks, and tried to smile at him, but fuck, tears were still leaking out of the corner of my eyes and I was almost trembling with the effort.

“Hey, Penny.” His voice was soft, and he gently took my hands in his. I tried to pull back, because _fucking hell, I was still crying_ , but he held firm.

“Hey, listen to me. Come on, look at me. It’s fine, Penny. It’s fine to cry. It’s all right to be upset about it. I know you’re incredible, but you aren’t a bloody robot. No one can stand that kind of pressure, and you know what, even if they could, they’re still allowed to cry about it if they need to. You’re only 19. You should be crying to me about boys so I can offer to beat them up with my invisible wings and tail. Not university, and certainly not what your mum thinks of you. You’re fine just the way you are. You do know that, right?”

His voice was soothing, and I found myself sobbing harder, but the feeling of mortification was fading away. Simon straightened onto his knees and leant in to pull me into a hug, and I clutched at him tight. Every disappointed look my mum had given me, the drop in her voice when I told her my major, the cold glances at me when I’d gone to visit, all of them flashed through my mind, and I let them out of my brain as the tears ran down my face.

I pulled away after a while, and Simon sat back down onto the floor, cross-legged. He smiled at me, though the worried crease on his forehead remained.

“Better?” he asked.

I nodded, smiling at him. “Sorry.”

He shook his head. “Nope, you don’t apologise for being stressed. Or I would have to be apologising to you for the rest of eternity.” He leant close and flicked my nose before I realised what he was doing.

“Simon!” I said, annoyed, turning my head away.

“Much better,” he announced, and grinned at me. I glared at him, and reached for my tea.

“Oh it’s gone cold,” I grimaced.

“Nothing like a heartfelt session of bonding while the tea cools.” He was still grinning as he grabbed his cup, and downed its contents like a shot.

I rolled my eyes at him, and stood up.

“I’ve barely drunk any of it. I’m going to heat it up. Do you want more?” I turned to him to see him shaking his head.

I nodded and walked to the kitchen. I popped my cup into the microwave, leaning against the fridge as it warmed up.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” Simon’s voice came from the dining table.

“You can come here and ask me. I’m not screaming possible secrets from the kitchen.”

“To the otherwise empty house. Okay, Penny.”

Simon walked in and reached for a tin of biscuits as the microwave beeped. I pulled the door open and took the cup out, savouring the slight warmth.

He turned to me, attempting to open the tin.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your mum? After all that rubbish with my majors, you were basically entitled to bother me with everything uni related. Or anything related, actually. That mess must have been horrifying.”

He looked at me, munching on a chocolate biscuit thoughtfully.

“You were confused, and came to me for advice. I wasn’t confused. I’m in love with biology, I would marry it if I could, but I can’t, which is why Micah comes into the picture.” Simon snorted with laughter before I went ahead. “This was just my mum, and my messed-up head, and it didn’t feel right to pull you into it.”

He cocked his head to a side, and then nodded, offering me the tin. I shook my head, and sipped my tea.

“Well, whatever it seems like next time you’re upset, you should know I’m always willing to listen to you. For what that’s worth.”

“It’s worth a lot. Thanks, Simon. I’ll keep that in mind next time I want to ugly cry.” Simon grinned at me, and I smiled back. I drained the last of my tea and dropped the cup into the sink.

“Let’s worry about the washing up tomorrow.” Simon peered over my shoulder at the over-flowing sink.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “We both need some sleep right now.”

“Or we should get a dishwasher. Why didn’t we get a flat with a dishwasher, Penny?”

“It’s not the landlord’s fault that you broke it within the first week we moved in.”

“Oh yeah.” He yawned, stretching his arms over his head. “I really do need to sleep.”

“Yes you do,” I replied, steering him to his bedroom. He twisted the doorknob, and before entering the room, turned to me.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you too, you sappy idiot. Now go to bed.”

He flipped me off sleepily, and then walked in, shutting the door behind him.

I rubbed at my eyes tiredly, and padded softly to my own room, and collapsed onto my bed. Well, there's nothing like a good cry to have a good night’s sleep.

I dreamt of tea and biscuit tins dancing to disco music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes you read that right, Penny did dream of disco biscuit tins. Also, no joke, I had no clue what the problem was between Penny and her mum right until Penny had to say it, and than it was just me going what the fuck is going on? I didn't know, and had to wait for two days to think up something. And this may sound dumb, I dunno how it is everywhere else, but where I live, if you're smart and you like the biology and stuff related to it, you're basically considered to be completely out of your mind to not do medicine. So this is a pretty common problem, and as Penny's origins are Indian, I didn't think it was too far-fetched. Anyway, thanks for listening to my rant, it's been great to have you all here.


	7. VII - Baz

Chapter 7 – Baz

I rapped on the door loudly, and leant against the wall on the side. Partially because the stairs were exhausting to climb up and I was completely out of breath, but also because I knew for a fact that Simon found me leaning on the wall very sexy. Apparently, I needed his exclamations of love like I needed blood. I was getting spoilt.

“Baz!” Simon said excitedly, his smile stretching across his face. I shoved down the urge to kiss him senseless on the doorstep and settled for a quick peck on his lips. He tasted like pancakes, and I leant away with an expression of indignation.

“Where are my pancakes?” I asked.

Penelope – Bunce, that is. One day I was going to call her Penny and she was going to wear that giant smirk on her face, which is why I try very hard not to in the first place – pushed Simon to the side.

“You can smell them from there?” Her eyebrows were furrowed.

“Ahh,” trailed Simon.

“If you kissed Simon, you’d know he ate pancakes as well,” I said drily, keeping my smile from my face as she rolled her eyes, and walked back in.

Simon pulled me in and shut the door behind me.

“Take your coat off, I’ll make you your pancakes.” He turned around and marched into the kitchen. I watched his arse move side to side before doing as he said.

“And maybe stop staring at my butt,” he said over his shoulder. I snorted as I hung my coat.

“What makes you think I was doing that, Snow?”

“I can feel your eyes.”

I grinned, and walked to him, wrapping my arms around his torso. He smelled like a bakery, and I gripped him tighter, breathing in the scent.

“How are you doing?” I asked softly.

I felt his shoulders go up in a shrug.

“Pancakes first,” he whispered. I nodded and let go of him to perch on the kitchen counter. Penelope shot me a glare that I pretended not to notice.

The seducing scent of pancakes drifted into the air, and I leant back against the wall, my stomach growling.

“Here you go!” Simon stood in front of me with a loaded plate full of sinful goodness. I grabbed it gratefully, and wolfed down the pancakes that were drowning in honey – I only eat my pancakes with either honey or chocolate, I hate everything else – and Simon watched me with an exasperated expression.

“What?” I asked with my mouth full. What was happening to the Pitch in me? I decided I couldn’t be bothered to give a shit.

“You didn’t have anything to eat before you left, did you? It’s almost noon, Baz.”

There was a fond smile stretching across his mouth, though the annoyance was still there.

“Woke up late. Bolted to get here.” I stuffed another piece of pancake in my mouth. Oh, it was _so good._

His eyes crinkled as he leant in and took my face in his hands. I chewed hastily and swallowed.

“I like honey too, you know,” he said, and as a question mark formed in my head, he pressed his lips to mine, and I felt the stickiness of honey seal us together. Simon’s tongue pried my mouth open and I turned to putty in his hands.

 

***

“So,” started Penelope.

We were seated in the living room, Simon leaning almost his entire weight on me. I threw an arm around his shoulder, half cuddling him. Penelope sat opposite to us, her face cradled in her hands. Her glasses were crooked.

“Simon?” I prompted.

He rubbed at his face tiredly. “Okay, okay. So…,” he paused, and swallowed. I squeezed his arm.

“Right, the Mage was my father, surprise, surprise.” He flashed us a weak smile. Fake enthusiasm, but hey, fake it till you make it, right?

“He should have named you Luke,” I said. Simon looked at me with his eyebrows raised, and Penelope laughed.

“Luke, I am your father,” she deadpanned in a deep voice. I grinned as Simon rolled his eyes.

“Shut up, both of you. I don’t know anything other than the fact that I’m his son. I ran out of the room after Mrs Bunce told me.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I stayed back for a moment and she told me she hadn’t meant to get you upset.” I shifted on the sofa, making it creak. “She knew that there would be a lot of complications after everyone found out, and she didn’t want to thrust you into that bullshit without your knowing what happened.”

Penelope looked aghast. I guessed Simon hadn’t told her that bit.

“I’m sorry about mum, Simon,” she said, her face distraught.

Simon waved her worry away. “No, she meant well. It was just… really shocking news for me. I guess I didn’t react to it too well.”

“You reacted just the way anyone would to finding out your school headmaster was your fucking father.” My voice was slightly sharp, but I couldn’t have him blaming himself for that fiasco.

Simon winced, but nodded and leant back, closing his eyes. Penelope looked at him with anxiety.

“Stop worrying, Pen,” came Simon’s voice.

Her eyebrow raised. “How do you know I was?”

Simon opened his eyes and grinned at me. “I told you. I can sense both your eyes boring holes into me.”

I grinned at him from the side of my mouth, and bumped his shoulder.

“Coming back to the topic at hand,” I started, turning to him. “We can Skype Mrs Bunce. Or I’ll just call her and ask her to tell me everything. I don’t think she’ll mind.”

Simon nodded slowly.

“I don’t mind Skyping.” He looked at Penelope. “Will you join us?”

There was something going unsaid between the two of them; Simon’s eyes looked different when he was trying to say something without voicing it out loud. I assumed they’d talked about whatever had been going on with Penelope and her mum.

She considered it and then nodded. “Yeah, I’d like to see her too.”

I pulled my laptop out of my bag, and entered my password. Simon wasn’t allowed to get on it. He’s begged me several times but I have my sappy poems saved from back when him and I weren’t a possibility, and I can’t bring myself to delete them. What I _can_ bring myself to do, however, is forbid him to touch him, no matter the intensity of his puppy eyes.

Simon came back from the kitchen with a cup of tea and a scone in his hands, just as Mrs Bunce accepted my call and appeared on the screen. Her worried face was almost a mirror to the expression Penelope had been wearing moments ago.

“Simon!” she said, smiling nervously at him.

“Hello, Mrs Bunce,” he replied, giving a short wave. He dropped into the sofa beside me and I weaved my fingers through his.

“I’d like to apologise for what happened yesterday. I didn’t mean to upset you and only wished to let you know the truth, but I admit I could have gone about it in a better way.”

Simon ducked his head, and then looked up quickly and smiled at her.

“It’s quite all right. It just came as a bit of a shock, that’s all.”

Mrs Bunce nodded, and her eyes turned to Penelope.

“Hello, Penelope,” she said. Her gaze flickered to me for a split second, and I smiled at her, trying to look encouraging.

“Hi, Mum.” Her voice was quieter than I’d ever heard her. Simon was looking at her worriedly, his hand squeezing mine without realising it.

“Christmas is next month. Coming home?”

“I…Yeah, Mum, I’ll be there.” Penelope smiled at her softly.

Mrs Bunce’s gaze warmed, and then wandered to somewhere beyond the computer, settling there unfocused for a moment. Simon’s eyes flickered to Penelope's, and she shrugged.

“Well, Simon, would you like to know who your mother was, or would you rather I sent that information along with the rest of the documents?”

“You can tell me, Mrs Bunce.”

I could feel his pulse racing at his wrist. I brushed my thumb across his palm, trying to reassure him.

“Her name was Lucy Salisbury. She… was one of my closest friends.”

Mrs Bunce’s eyes cast downwards as Penelope gasped softly.

“That picture,” she whispered. The headmistress looked up at her, and nodded.

“Yes, that was her.”

“What?” interrupted Simon.

“Mum showed me and Agatha a photo of herself in Watford. With your mum,” said Penelope, her eyes wandering to Simon’s hair. “Oh, your hair.” Crinkled eyes with such sadness. “It’s hers, Simon.”

Simon blinked, and nodded at her, his grip on my hand growing tighter as he leant against me. I felt something at my foot and saw Simon’s toes tapping haphazardly on the wooden floor. He wanted to talk about something else. Fast.

“Um, what else did you need to tell us, Mrs Bunce? Has Simon inherited anything from the Mage?”

A grateful squeeze of fingers.

The headmistress reached out to grab a rack of sheets. The three of us stared at the screen, Simon in anxiety, Penelope in apprehension, and myself, I was really fucking curious beneath all the shit. The Mage had been extremely powerful, I wouldn’t have been surprised if Simon had been left an island.

 

***

Penelope’s eyes were as round as saucers.

"You’re fucking rich!” I yelped.

 

***

“I don’t want the Mage’s money!”

“SIMON! Think of all the sour cherry scones!”

“Actually, now that you mention it…”

 

***

Mrs Bunce rolled her eyes, waving goodbye to them as she wore a soft smile. Simon was still wearing the expression of someone's who'd been struck by lightning, and I nipped at his ear, making him lean away from me.

"Baz!"

"You could literally buy a swimming pool made of diamonds."

"Shhh." His face moved closer to mine, and after he cast a quick glance around to make sure Penelope had disappeared into the kitchen, he pressed his lips against mine. I fell back against the sofa, wrapping my arms around him. My Simon.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M NOT DEAD AND I HAVEN'T ABANDONED THIS. APPARENTLY MY NEW RECORD IS JUST OVER A MONTH, AND I'D APOLOGISE BUT THIS IS SO SHIT OF ME I DON'T THINK IT'D COVER IT SO ANYWAY I HOPE YOU LIKE THE CHAPTER
> 
>  
> 
> Also mid-terms are coming up so the next one might take just as long. Unless I procrastinate studying and write snowbaz fluff instead in which case, yay, I guess?


	8. VIII - Simon

Chapter 8 – Simon

“Okay,” I said, exhaling deeply.

Baz scrunched his eyebrows

at me, and Penny was wearing an annoying smile, the one where she looked like she knew what I was about to say. She probably did.

“I don’t want the Mage’s money.”

“ _Simon_ ,” whined Baz. Penny collapsed into giggles, and he glared at her.

“What’s so funny, Bunce?”

“Oh, I don’t even know why you’re in such misery, like you didn’t know this is what would be happening.” She turned to me, the smile slipping a little bit.

“I know what it feels like. At least, I can imagine, and I know you fairly well, so I have a pretty good idea. Simon, you don’t want to have anything to do with him, least of all, inherit his fortune.” Her eyes drifted to look into the distance. “And, bloody hell, what a fortune it is.”

“That doesn’t matter!” I spluttered.

If I took the money, I would be fucking rich. Baz said that if I added in the houses the Mage owned - I’ve no clue why the fuck he bought so many– I could inherit around a hundred million pounds, and my jaw had dropped. I was still very close to just blacking out from all the sudden news.

But the idea of taking the Mage’s money still feels like sticking my hand in a sewer.

“Earth to Simon,” droned Penny. Baz smirked at me.

“Sorry, what?”

“The grant from Watford is dwindling, Simon. It was meant to be just enough to get you through uni. You’ve spent half of it and we haven’t even gone through one semester yet. You’re not going to last.”

“I’ll find a better job.”

“Look, he didn’t do what he should have as your father. Now that he’s dead, take what you need. It’s yours anyway.”

I dragged a hand across my face.

“I’m going to sleep on it.”

Penny nodded encouragingly. I made myself smile at her and turned to Baz.

“Staying over?”

“Yes.”

***

_The room was dark, the last glows of the sunset kept out by the heavy curtains. I turned around, looking for something. I didn’t recognise where I was. I wanted to call out for Baz, but my mouth wouldn’t open. I sat down on the floor, panic rising steadily in me._

_“My rosebud boy,” whispered the door. My heart hitched, and I reached my hand out towards the knob._

_It won’t open, I realised. I dropped my hand. I didn’t know how I knew, but that door was part of the solid walls._

_“I loved you before you were born.”_

_“Mrs Pitch?” I asked, my voice back, and wavering badly._

_“Why are you so confused?” The voice was like silk. Why was Baz’s mum haunting me instead of him?_

_“I… don’t know what you mean.”_

_“My son.”_

_“He isn’t here.” I swallowed, trying to hide the tears that had sprung up, but I didn’t know why._

_“My child, Simon Snow Owen. I carried you for nine long months, only to realise I was dying when I first held you in my arms. Davy…” The voice stopped with a sob, which I heard over the roaring of my beating heart._

_Was this my mother? I stood up jerkily, swiping at the tears that were now rolling down my cheeks freely._

_“Mum?” I called._

_“Yes, Simon.” Her voice was still choked with sobs. I felt my heart sink._

_“What happened to you?” I asked, swallowing._

_“I don’t have much time here, so I will be brief. Your father wanted to create the mage who would save the world, and he decided it would be his child.”_

_Numbness was seeping into me, starting from my brain._

_“You are the result of his experiment. His failed experiment. Too much power in one child, too much for you to control. I didn’t know. If I had, I swear, I never would have given you my magic.”_

_The world was rotating around me, leaving me behind as time went on._

_“I know what you are thinking,” came her voice again, marginally stronger than before. “You don’t want to take his money, and I do understand that, my son, but he almost took your life. I made mistakes, huge mistakes, and they cost me my own. Listen to me, and take your inheritance. Make it yours. Take what you conceive filthy and forge your own legacy.”_

_A hysterical laugh arose in me._

_“Mum, I can’t even choose a major for myself. How would I possibly forge my legacy?”_

_“A legacy isn’t a hero holding a fancy sword and walking victoriously towards a screaming crowd after having defeated the villain. It is knowing that after you have passed on from this world, you are remembered in the eyes of others. It could be anything in the world, handing a flower to a child, tipping a waiter more than what they expect, smiling at strangers.”_

_I could almost see her silhouette against the wall if I focused. I exhaled slowly._

_“Oh, and your boyfriend?” she said._

_“Baz?” I replied, my breath hitching in my throat. I wanted so badly for her to like him._

_“He’s wonderful. He loves you very much, Simon.”_

_“I… yeah. I love him too.” I smiled widely, breathing a sigh of relief. I realised my heart was thudding._

_“You must wake up now. Goodbye, my son.”_

_“No, wait- ” I scrambled to my feet, holding my hands out to her. The room around me began to dissolve._

_“I love you, mum,” I said into a rapidly forming void._

_“And I you, my rosebud boy.” The words echoed around me._

“Simon,” a voice whispered. Baz.

I rubbed my eyes groggily, and forced them open. My thumb felt wet.

“You’re crying,” he continued to murmur softly. I turned my head to him. He reached out and wiped at a tear on my cheek.

“I saw Mum,” I said, my voice creaking. I saw his eyebrows furrow in question, but he must have understood my expression, because he nodded and touched a finger to the tip of my cheekbone. He slowly drew it down, caressing the side of my face, touching the edge of my lips, and dipping into my exposed collarbone.

I closed my eyes at his touch, and the memories threw themselves at me. I started and jerked Baz’s finger off.

“Simon?” he asked.

“I know what to do.” I met his eyes, blue reaching out for grey. “I’m going to take the Mage’s money.”

Baz stared for a while, and then, so quickly I might have missed it if I’d blinked, his mouth curved into a wide smile.

“I’m glad for you,” he said, his joy spilling out of his voice. I leant in and put my arm around him, drawing him into me for a fierce hug. His head fell over my shoulder, and we stayed like that for a while, finding comfort in one another’s warm bodies. I smiled against him, unable to contain it.

***

 

“What made you change your mind?” asked Penny, her eyebrow quirked in curiosity.

“My mum,” I said. Her other eyebrow joined the first one in confusion.

“Simon.”

“I’m serious.”

She sighed. “Care to elaborate?”

“Not particularly, no.” It was true. The dream, or whatever it had been, felt special to me. I didn’t want to give it words, even if it was only to tell Baz or Penny. Baz sat quietly beside me, scrolling through his phone, his mouth occasionally quirking up in amusement if he saw something funny.

Penny watched me for a while, and then nodded to herself. “Fine. I won’t push you. Should I let my mum know, then?”

I nodded in agreement, and leant my head on Baz’s shoulder. He tapped his knee against mine once, and I bumped back.

Penny stood up and wandered to the window to make the call.

I stretched back against the cushion of the sofa, breathing out softly. Reaching out to hold Baz’s hand, I felt a smile spreading along my lips. Everything wasn’t prefect, but for once, I felt like I had control of my life. I knew what I was doing, and those decisions were mine, all mine.

I closed my eyes just as Baz dropped a kiss on my temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back, back again  
> It's me, bitch!  
> I'm sorry it's kinda sorta late at night and I am just enormously glad I have this chapter to add to this fic, not quitting yet, baby  
> Boy I'm going to regret this in the morning, but hey dude, look at all the perfect grammar and punctuation. Is punctuation part of grammar? Help a fellow braindead zombie out, peeps.  
> Divya's out, bop


	9. IX - What Simon Tried To Do With His New-found Fortune

**_Baz_ **

“Simon.” I tried hard to keep the laughter out of my voice.

“What?” he asked, almost whining.

“I know you have a lot of money on hand, but…for fuck’s sake you cannot place an order for a hundred bloody scones.”

“Why?” He was definitely whining now.

“First off, they’ll spoil.”

“Watch me.”

“Simon, _no_!”

 

***

**_Penny_ **

I barged into the living room, making Simon jump into the air.  I raised an eyebrow at him and walked to the kitchen, my hands itching for a cup of tea. Simon cast furtive looks at me while I pretended not to notice.

I absentmindedly made my tea, thinking about what Simon was up to. Clearly something was going on.

As I stepped out of the kitchen, he leapt up again. I sighed.

“What,” I asked flatly.

“What?” he replied, his voice an octave higher. His eyes dipped to his laptop screen, and then quickly flicked back at me.

“What are you attempting to buy this time, Simon?” I thought of the most absurd thing that came to my mind. “A fucking castle?”

Simon turned pale. “Ha,” he squeaked, his hand shooting up to run through his hair, making his unruly curls stick straight up into the air, like several antennae.

“Who told you _that_ ,” he added, his voice still high enough to be comical. Dread billowed into me.

“ARE YOU BUYING A BLOODY CASTLE, SNOW?!”

***

****

**_Baz_ **

The flat was quiet, and considering what Simon had been up to the past couple of days, I was immediately suspicious.

“Snow?” I called out cautiously. I strained my ears and thought I heard muffled giggling.

“Simon, wherever you’re hiding, get the fuck out. I can hear you.”

“Come find me then!” His faint voice seemed to come from his room.

I tiptoed close to the door, and dropped to my knees to look inside through the small slit below. It seemed to be stuffed with something dark. Damn it.

“All right, fuck this, just open the door,” I thought to myself. I turned the knob and pushed the door open.

“SURPRISE!” he screeched almost directly into my ear. My heart leapt up into my throat, as I whirled around to face him.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see brown blobs. _Everywhere._

“You said you liked the Paddington bear?” he said to me, his eyes hopeful and slightly anxious.

“Did you…” I stood flabbergasted as my head slowly turned to take in the room. Paddington bears of every possible shape filled the place; his bed must have had at least twenty watching me.

“Did you actually buy a hundred fucking bears, Simon?” My voice sounded weak.

“There was an offer!” he exclaimed, grabbing my hand and leading me to the bed.

I picked up a bear to clear some space for myself, and sat down, dropping my head into my hands.

Muffled sounds escaped from my fingers.

“Are you crying?” He suddenly sounded like he was about to cry himself.

“No,” I said, lifting my had to face him. Tears ran down my cheeks from laughing so hard.

I grinned widely at him. “What possessed you to do this?” I asked.

“Oh, you like it, thank magick, I’m so glad,” he breathed out, his hand held over his heart.

“You complete idiot.” My voice was almost disgustingly fond, as I reached out for his face and drew it close to mine.

“I love you,” I whispered, sealing his lips with mine. He smiled against me, and I swallowed his happiness. My heart soared.

A Paddington bear brushed against my sleeve, and laughter bubbled in my throat. How did I get so lucky to date this adorable, silly, idiot?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is short but I plan on putting another chapter out for valentines' day and you have my permission to come at me with a cricket bat if I don't


	10. X - Penelope

**Penny**

Simon had been acting awfully suspicious for a while now, and so far, every time I’d confronted him about it, he pretended he had no clue what I was talking about. Last time, he’d tried to say he didn’t even know me.

 Baz was much better at hiding whatever bullshit it was, but not perfect. His shifty eyes whenever Simon slipped up – which was so often I lost count after the first day – told me it all.

I sat on my bed, frowning down at my laptop. Micah was having a family dinner which meant we couldn’t have our weekly Skype call, and suddenly I had nothing to do on a Friday evening.

“Simon?” I yelled from the room. I didn’t actually have to raise my voice. The walls were paper-thin and I was still terrified of the day I was going to wake up to Simon and Baz having sex.

His golden head popped between the wall and the door.

“You called, my damsel in distress?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes. “You know as well as I do that between the two of us, you’re definitely the damsel in distress.”

He smiled and shrugged. “Good point. Now what did you want?”

“Are you doing anything with Baz tonight?”

“No, he’s taking Mordelia out for dinner, said something about losing a bet.” He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

I smiled. The idea of Baz, Basil I meant - I’m calling him Baz more and more often now, it just seems more him than Basil. Baz just isn’t someone who’d be named after a bloody leaf. Of course, I tried Tyrannus but after he threatened to hide my ring, I stopped. I could probably find a spell that doesn’t let him touch it, but honestly, that’s too much effort to go to for His Highness the Pitch Heir (the gay one that isn’t going to pass on the bloodline at all. Unless he and Simon adopt kids. Ooh, I’m going to put this in Simon’s head one day) – and Mordelia together was a funny picture in my head. He loved her, of course, but he would rather be staked than admit it.

“Penny?” asked Simon, waving a hand before my face.

“Hmm? Sorry, I zoned out.”

Simon smiled at me fondly, and shook his head.

“Why did you ask?” he repeated, flicking my nose with a smirk. I swatted at his hand exasperatedly and glared.

“Micah can’t do our usual Skype session today because he has a family dinner, so I was wondering if you were free. I don’t know what to do with a suddenly empty Friday evening.”

Simon started turning red half way through what I was saying, and I frowned thoughtfully.

“What’s up with you?” I added.

He looked startled, and turned his face away from me hastily.

“Nothing, nothing, I was just thinking about how funny it was that both our boyfriends are busy with their family.” He finished with an unconvincing smile. I stared at him for a moment, but he refused to budge, and I shrugged. He was definitely keeping something from me, but that’s never gone long enough to turn into a disaster.

I hummed in agreement with him, and strummed my fingers along my calculator, and brightened with an idea.

“I could teach you to braid my hair!” I said excitedly. Simon looked blank, and then paled considerably.

“Come on, it’ll be funnnn,” I persuaded, dragging the fun into a whine.

“I…fine. Let’s do that,” he said in a resigned voice that almost would have fooled me if I hadn’t seen the smile on his face. While he was generally bad at them, he loved doing crafty things; anything to keep his hands busy, really.

***

“Ow, ow, OW!” I yelled, as Simon tried to pull a hairband out of my mess of hair. He whimpered like it was his hair getting yanked out of his head, and sighed when I winced again.

“Could I just cut it out?”

“You’ll cut my _hair_ out as well, so no thanks, Simon. I’ll just… deal with it myself.”

I reached around to the back of my head, and began coaxing out the strands.

“I’m sorry.” I could hear the smile in his voice though.

“Yeah, your tone suggests otherwise, Mr Snow.”

“Mmm, not my fault you’re telepathic.”

I was too busy trying to encourage my hair to untangle itself to answer.

***

Something roared in the living room as I carefully pulled beautifully cooked chicken breasts out of the oven. I set the tray down on the kitchen counter, making sure it wasn’t tipping on the edge, and grabbed a spatula on my way out.

Magical beasts were extremely rare in London, but not impossible to sight. I peeked over the edge of the kitchen wall, spells waiting on the tip of my tongue.

Simon lay on the sofa, his own arm thrown over his nose as snores erupted from his mouth. I clapped a hand over my mouth to stop myself from laughing out loud, and bent over as the image of him replayed in my head. With shaking hands, I grabbed my phone from my pocket and took a video of him with my giggles playing as background music.

Simon woke up to the sound of my laughing, and stirred on the sofa.  
“Penny?”

“Yes, you snoring monster?” I asked, hitting send on my phone.

“What?” His voice was still almost adorably sleepy.

“Do you want to know what you snore like?”

“I do _not_ snore!” he said indignantly. I burst out laughing. Simon looked affronted.

I padded across the room to him and clicked play. The roars blared out of the phone speakers. Simon watched on, his cheeks turning red. I poked them with a grin, making him turn away.

“You rigged it.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t know, abracadabra, turn poor Simon into a snoring animal!”

I shook my head, just as my phone beeped with a new message.

_Basil: Now you know what it’s like to sleep over every night_

 

Simon glanced at it over my shoulder and snatched the phone from my hands. He wrote: its simon here baz u absolute monster how cud u take her side i hate u

Basil: :))

Before Simon could reply with the middle finger emoji, I grabbed my phone back and stuffed it into my jeans pocket.

“Enough. I’m going to drink my tea and catch up on Doctor Who. You’re going to bed. No argument.” I waggled my finger at him exaggeratingly.

“Okay, mum,” he said, raising up and stretching his arms over his head. He yawned, and then walked to his room, stumbling into a chair on the way.

“Penny!” he said suddenly.

“Hmm?” I asked, thumbing through my Tumblr dash.

“It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow!”

“Yes?”

Simon began humming the Pink Panther theme song. Honestly, the only difference between sleepy Simon and drunk Simon was that the latter woke up with an ear-splitting headache in the morning.

“Have you gotten anything planned for Baz?” I asked.

“Oh yes, of course I do.” He sounded extremely happy.

“And it is…?” I prompted him.

“Can’t tell you! You’ll see tomorrow, I promise.” He smiled at me, and then raised his hand in a short wave before disappearing into his room.

I sighed, and then went back to my phone, squinting at a piece of fanart that looked to gorgeous to be real.

_Oh shit, I forgot my tea._

***

“PENNY!”

I bolted up in my bed, blinking blearily at the door. Sleep flirted with my eyelids.

“PENELOPE BUNCE, WAKE UP, WE MUST LEAVE!” Simon’s booming voice came from behind the door, and I winced at the sound.

I leapt out of bed, groaning as the cold hit my bare arms. I cast a wistful glance back at my blanket before throwing the door open.

“ _What_ do you want?” I snapped.

Simon attempted at a smile, and Baz stood behind him, smirking at me. I flipped him off.

“Ah, Penny, we’re all going to the London Eye. Um, right now.”

I blinked in confusion.

“What? Why didn’t you tell me before?” I ran a hand through my hair that was currently sticking up in all directions. My fingers caught in a forest of knots and I mentally grimaced.

“I… um, forgot?” Simon’s ears were turning red in embarrassment.

Baz huffed out a laugh. “You idiot,” he said fondly, snaking a hand around Simon’s waist. Simon leant into his touch.

“I asked him if I should tell you, since I knew he’d forget. But he wanted to tell you the grand surprise himself, and look where that got us.” Baz’s eyes sparkled with mirth.

“Why is this funny?” I whined. “Do you really think me third-wheeling you guys would make for a brilliant Valentines’ Day? I just want to sit at home and mope around, thank you very much.”

“I won’t be a very good best friend if I let you do that now, would I?” Simon said, his eyes pleading.

“Fine, fine, get rid of those puppy eyes,” I gave it, waving my hand at his face. “When do we have to leave?”

“Ah…” Simon trailed away, looking uncomfortable.

Baz cleared his throat.

“We were meant to leave an hour ago, if we planned to have time for breakfast. Skipping that, we should leave right about now.”

“Merlin’s balls, this is why you tell me about your plans beforehand!” I yelped, closing the door in their faces and throwing my cupboard open. I grabbed my favourite pair of jeans with flowers embroidered above the knees, and reached out for a random jumper.

We were going to be so late.

***

“Pens!” hissed Simon. He glanced furtively at his phone before dropping it into a pocket and turning to me.

“What?” I asked, ripping my eyes forcefully from his neon yellow shirt to his suspicious-looking face. My lips quirked into a smile as I remembered Baz’s jaw hanging open in shock when he’d seen Simon in that shirt. It truly was horrific, but it wasn’t Simon if he wasn’t stubborn.

“I need you to come with me,” he said, almost whispering. I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Are you handing me over to an axe murderer, now?”

He snorted. “I have no desire to let you kill random axe murderers today, maybe tomorrow. Now we need to go.” He offered his hand to me, and I took it, revelling in the warmth it seeped.

“Where?” I asked, knowing I wouldn’t get a straight answer.

“Shh,” he shushed me. I rolled my eyes in exasperation.

We walked to the end of the street, where we found Baz standing next to a huge box. And when I say huge, I mean it touched his shoulder. I gaped at it.

“What’s going on?” I asked. Simon fidgeted next to me, and nodded at Baz, who leant into the box and whispered to it. Amidst all the confusion in my head, a bit of concern for Baz’s sanity blossomed. The box trembled, and I took a step back, letting go of Simon’s hand for easier access to my ring.

The front of the giant cube fell open, and a boy walked out sheepishly, an awkward grin lighting up his face.

“ _Micah?_ ” I breathed.

He raised a hand and waved, seemingly frozen in his steps. I ran to him, and dug in my heels into the pavement to stop myself from colliding into him. We stood nose to nose, my head tipped upwards, and his slanting down at me.

“Bloody hell,” I whispered, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Hello to you, too, Penny.” He smiled, his lips curving upwards, and I raised my fingers to it. He turned his head away, laughing softly.

“It tickles,” he complained. I threw my arms around him, snuggling my head into the crook between his neck and his shoulder. He sighed and cuddled me close to him, forgetting the possible eyes of strangers on us for once. I breathed in the familiar scent of him. I’d missed him _so_ much, I couldn’t believe I’d been by myself all this while without going crazy.

“Happy Valentines’ Day,” he mumbled into my hair. I gave him a tight squeeze and let go of him.

“Happy Valentines’ Day to you too,” I beamed. His eyes drifted from mine to my lips.

“Can I kiss you?”

I tipped forward, crashing my lips onto his, my arms curving around his neck. Happiness coursed through my heart, pumping along my veins and filling me with utter bliss. The kiss was sweet and drawn out, and his hands fluttered at my waist. We broke apart for air, and I smiled at him again.

“I have something for you.” His hand slipped into his coat pocket, and he pulled out a small box. My heart stuttered, and not in a pleasant way. He glanced up at my expression and gave me a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry, I’m not proposing.” He grinned. “Yet.”

I punched his arm playfully, and he offered the box to me. I took it hesitantly, wondering at what it could be.

I flicked it open, and my eyes widened.

It was a pendant of a heart. An anatomically accurate heart, carved in silver.

“Um, I thought it was a good idea for a biology major? Instead of earrings?” His cheeks were flaming. “But, uh, I could totally get you those as well. If you want. Um.”

He opened his mouth to explain more, but I quickly raised a finger to his lips. My mind was completely scattered. I rummaged around, trying to find words.

“It’s lovely,” I managed. “It’s absolutely stunning, and I’m at a loss for words, so forgive me, but I love it. I love it almost as much as I love you.”

His ears caught on fire as well, but he smiled, his eyes crinkling.

“I’m glad,” he said.

I carefully drew the necklace out, a thin silver chain emerging out of the dark blue of the box. It caught the sunlight as I held it out to Micah.

“Put it on for me?”

“Of course.” He fumbled with the clasp for a moment, and then victoriously circled it around my neck. I turned around and raised my eyebrows in question.

“You look great. As you always do. God, I’m turning sappy as fuck. I should stop talking now.”

I laughed and reached for his hand, swinging it between us.

“I love you,” I said.

“I guess I’m not the sappy one now,” he replied. I jolted his shoulder with my own. He turned to me, caught mid-laughter. “I love you too, Pens.”

He shook his head. “I was terrified it was going to be extremely awkward,” he confessed.

“Oh, don’t worry about that, I’m best of friends with awkward. We get along great.”

“You know, that really isn’t the most inaccurate thing you could say about Simon.”

I laughed again, surprising myself. A boring and possibly painful day had turned into the best so far into the year. I watched the cut of his jawline as his attention drifted to the grey sky.

“It really is grey,” he noted.

“Well, it is London.”

It suddenly dawned on me that Simon and Baz were nowhere to be seen. I’d completely forgotten about them. My phone buzzed with a message.

_Si: we’re at the cafe we crossed on the way to ur tearful reunion. When ur done snogging meet me and baz there_

I rolled my eyes, and turned to Micah.

“Let’s go meet Simon and Baz. They’re at a café around here.”

He nodded, and we began walking, hand in hand. I kept glancing back towards him to make sure he was real. The entire day felt like a ridiculously amazing dream. Micah noticed and threw his arm around my shoulders.

“I’m here. Not going anywhere.”

I didn’t bother asking him how he could possibly know. I just snuggled in further, committing the scent of him to memory. The day was so perfect, I was almost afraid to breathe in fear of ruining it.

### 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DID IT  
> HERE'S A VALENTINES DAY CHP FOR PENS AND MICAHBOO I LOVE THEM BOTH  
> I DO BELIEVE THIS IS THE LONGEST CHAPTER I'VE WRITTEN  
> FEAST, MY CHILDREN


	11. Hiatus

Hi guys.

So, it's been more than a month since I last updated, and I still can't bring myself to start writing. I started this fanfic with so many ideas, and I still have that NotePad file, but what I have lost is my love for writing. It began as another way to challenge myself; I'd just put an entire fic (a humble 7000 words, but for me, that was unbelievably huge at that point) on AO3, and I'd received a larger response than I'd dreamt of.

For a while, it was lovely, and I enjoyed writing more about Simon and Baz and Penny, writing their story the way I imagined it to be, but slowly, that changed. School started, and as a result, I had to update less often. Schoolwork rained down on me, and I know there are thousands of writers who can manage between the two, but I couldn't. I trudged ahead though, writing less often but still doing it anyhow, and every comment and kudo gave me a little more life to breathe into this fic. Updating once a week turned to once in two weeks, and then a month, and now, not even that.

There are people who still read this, even though I can see its quality decelerating at crazy speeds, and I can't tell you how much I love you (looking to you, Deathbycaptainswan) (also you, CharlotteH, I'm sorry you never got the snowbaz valentines day chapter I'd promised). You guys are the best, and you deserve more than words I'm reluctant to take out of my head.

I'm Living a Charmed Life became a chore along the way, and I don't want it to be that. And this is why I'm going on hiatus. I don't want to outright abandon this fic, it still means a lot to me, and I'd like to come back to it one day. I'm just not sure I will, and I don't want to hand out fake promises. Goodbye, and I hope to see you guys again!


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